Of Clowns and Dingleberries

clown (n.) - A buffoon or jester who entertains by jokes, antics, and tricks in a circus, play, or other  presentation.

dingleberry (n.) -  Vulgar Slang

1. A piece of dried feces caught in the hair around the anus.
2. An incompetent, foolish, or stupid person.

 

A clown does not have the luxury of shedding his appearance. Nor does he have the luxury of returning to his normal self. He is one who thrives on the happiness and laughter of his audience. Laughter is what keeps a clown going (as well as in a job).

So, what of dingleberries then. Being a slang, (and a vulgar one at that), it means “An incompetent, foolish, or stupid person”. Being a dingleberry however, is part of a clown’s vast arsenal of weapons. Anything to garner a smile from his audience. A smile evoked is a buck earned, so to say.

I am one such clown – a dingleberry clown. People come to me in times of sadness and need. And I duly respond by offering words of encouragement, consolation, or if the need arises, words of lecture. Seeing you walk away with a smile on your face, feeling better about the world, gives me pride in my skill and God-given gift. The gift of being a dingleberry clown.

Some might say, “you are not a clown”, or “come on, you ain’t stupid”, but the things I do sometimes to make you, my audience, smile… And also, the emotions I go through sometimes. Suppressing my own urges to indulge in a moment of self pity. Resisting the temptation so say “fuck it, I quit being your clown”. Because I realise that the world and the people around me won’t be any better off.

So I continue being the way I am. Always here when you need a laugh. Always here when you need a shoulder to cry on. Always here when you need a punching bag. My fair/foul weathered friends. I sincerely thank The Lord my God for bestowing upon me a gift to bring smiles to the people around me. And I pledge never to waver, nor let my emotions get in the way of my bringing you your deserved smiles.

Like it or not, this is me. As to whether or not I am a dingleberry, that is for me to know… and not necessarily for you to find out. But if you one day find yourself in a position to see me cry, be heartened by the fact that only my best and closest friends can witness this event. But until that day comes, I continue to be your dingleberry clown…

Love, Ian.

~ by li0nh34rt on November 17, 2008.